Mood swings? HA!

I have been feeling all sorts of everything lately mostly because of the meds. They are making my emotions go into over-drive. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it....but, I am not alone. Apparently everyone is going through or has gone through the same thing as me. When the doctors, nurses and websites say "mood swings"....be prepared to be annoyed by the smallest thing and cry your eyes out for no reason. Moods swings I can handle but THIS...this is not mood swings.

I am trying to not snap at Billy when he is standing in my way and I want to get in the fridge or if he didn't hang is towel up correctly in the bathroom. It's hard and I didn't think it would be as hard as it has been. Billy went to Wrestlemania yesterday and I cried for hours when he left. I don't know why. It's not like he hasn't been gone all day before. He works doubles, he has been at the firehouse for emergencies and I have been fine all the other times. I wasn't even going to be home. I was going to my mom's house so we could go shopping and visit my niece. Didn't matter. There I was, on my stairs, a crying mess.

I guess it would be kind of comforting to have some sort of guarantee that at the end of this road, there would be a baby. But there isn't. You just might have to go through all of this and walk away with nothing. That's kind of a lonely place to be. I guess maybe its more on my mind now since I am almost at the end. And again, don't get me wrong.....I still hold my ground when I say that it is totally okay if we end up being just us. But it has been on my mind.